We Are The Axis Allies! Hetalia
by BulletFan10195
Summary: Austria's been kidnapped, some suspicious characters pay the Allied Nations a visit, and Italy wants to make pasta! The Axis and Allies have to work together to retrieve Austria from a very familiar foe. But when their differences, as well as past experiences, get in the way, emotional moments and hilariously awkward situations ensue. Rated MA for "possible" Yaoi/Shonen-Ai
1. Chapter 1

**We Are The Axis Allies! 1**

**(A/N):** Me no own, you no sue. APH and it's characters belong to Himaruya Hidekaz. I just own the plot and my OCs. The picture also does not belong to me, it just goes with the story and has all the main characters I want to include.. Though they made Italy look too badass for my taste :3)

**Summary:** Austria's been kidnapped, some suspicious characters pay the Allied Nations a visit, and Italy wants to make pasta! The Axis and Allies have to work together to retrieve Austria from a very familiar foe. But when their differences, as well as past experiences, get in the way, emotional moments and hilariously awkward situations ensue. (Rated MA for "possible" Yaoi/Shonen-Ai)

She ran. She ran as fast as her thin legs could carry her. Her destination was positive, though most likely not the best. Fresh, green grass crunching under her weight. Spring had reached its beautiful peak and buds bloomed with delight. However, this was not a moment of joy. For he had been taken. Taken from her while she slept. It angered her, but at the same instant, she feared that she may not be able to do.. anything. And because of this, she vowed that should would do anything to bring him back.

**"Ve~! Germany! Germany!"**

An overly excited Italian shouted the glorified name of his best friend, as he entered the German's office. Inside held, of course Germany, and also Japan. The two were having a discussion of the new type of transportation they should build in order to defend themselves from unwanted enemies. The testy blond sighed and rubbed the inner corners of his eyes.

**"What is it Italy?"**

His unmistakable German accent pronouncing his w's like v's. Clearly the blond was not in the mood to deal with Italy's antics. Japan, however, just sensed the mood and refrained from speaking.

**"Where did you put the boxes of pasta? I want to make you and Japan dinner!"**

He cheered, fully entering the room. Japan's eyes glistened excitedly. Ever since his visit to Italy, he.. Well, he hasn't been the same.

**"Mister Germany, it would not bother you to have me over for dinner?" **The quiet Asian piped out.

**"Nein. It's no bother for me. Italy, the boxes are in the cellar. Just make two this time." **Germany instructed as he went back to his blueprints. Italy whined.

**"The cellar? I don't want to go to the cellar, Germany! It's so dark and scary and full of spiders that just want to bite me and suck my marinara, Italian blood!"**

**"There are blood-sucking spiders in your homeland Germany?!"**

A shocked, as well as paranoid, Japan asked frightened while checking every square inch that no arachnid would be near to suck his thick, proud Japanese blood.

**"We have as normal of spiders as any another country! And Italy! Stop being such a pussy! If you really want to make us food, you'll go!"** The blond commanded harshly and pointed towards the door. Italy's lower lip quivered.

**"But Germany-!"**

**"Go! And don't you make a mess."**

**"Ve~.."**

Italy sighed defeated and slumped to the cellar. Yes he wanted pasta; no he didn't want a spider to bite his tender skin, suck his blood, ultimately causing his death. But pasta is pasta. How could he pass the nostalgic, starchy meal up? That's right; he can't!

**"Ve~... Why is Germany being extra mean today? Maybe he needs pasta~!"**

He cheered and added some pizzazz to his step. But his skipping was cut short by desperate pounding at Germany's main door. Italy, being the sweet fella that he is, decided to open it. Humming a lively tune, he merrily strolled to the giant wooden door and opened it widely.

**"Ciao stranger!"**

He chirped joyfully, his eyes closed in happiness. They snapped open when he felt hands clench his torso. It was Hungary, and she was crying. Her eyes: red and puffy, tear stains marked trails down her cheeks.

**"Eh? Hungary, wh-?"**

**"They took him! They- they took him from me!" **She shook her head violently, burying it deep into Italy's chest.

**"Wh-who?!" **Was the only word he could choke out.

**"Austria!"**

**"Dudes!" **America's voice cut through the lazy meeting that was painfully still going on. **"We need something that'll stop those Axis!"**

**"Will you stop stating the obvious?!" **England reprimanded his younger 'brother'. **"And who are you staring at?!"**

America had slammed his palms on the table and stared into the abyss. Speaking to no one in particular. America smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

**"No one, but seriously! I accidentally heard Japan on the phone talking to Germany about making U-Boats into giant action fighting robots! Now as awesome as that sounds, we might get our asses handed to us if they manage to build them so I thought-!"**

Suddenly, the white, fluffy clouds, that blocked them from the sun's radiant rays, begun to twist and turn to a dark grey, then into a midnight black. No storms had been forecasted for that day, so this struck the Allies odd. China scurried to the nearest window and gasped inwardly.

**"There are some strange looking men outside."**

**"What?"** the rest of the nations inquired in synch as they, too, ran to the window.

Outside there were five dark, shadowy figures making their way to the giant building. This was clearly not a good sign.

**"Well let's give these creepers a warm welcome.. And by that I mean, let's go kick some ass!"**

The Allies hastily sprinted outside, to find that their little buddies were taller than they had anticipated. They were almost two feet taller than Russia. This definitely was not a good sign.

**"Bonjour!" **France saluted quite happy for the odd situation. The strangers only made a loud gasping, screeching noise, all while unhinging their jaws. **"Ew. How disgusting.. and rude."**

**"These guys don't look very friendly." **China commented as he took out his giant wok in defense. The others grunted in agreement. Russia, randomly, started to giggle. His ally nations turned to him.

**"I take care of them." **The ash-blond stated with a pleased smile.

**"You sure that's a good idea, Russia?" **England questioned rather upset.

**"Oui, they look like they could eat you whole!" **France added with a dramatically worried voice. Russia merely continued to giggle.

**"Please to be not getting in my way, da?"**

He stated calmly before slipping out of his thick, heavy, tan coat. The Russian was quite well built, he was no Germany, but he came close enough. Out of nowhere, Russia pulled out his lightly rusting lead pipe. Twirling it around in one hand, the ash-blond charged the threatening enemies. He rose the pipe into the air, swinging, and sticking the cold, metallic weapon into the side of the 'head' of the enemy. In one swift movement, Russia pulled the pipe out. A substance, with the consistency but not the color, of blood covered the pipe and streamed down the assassin. It fell to its knees and eventually face down. Russia giggled quite pleased and continued with the rest.

One of the other enemies locked the Russian in a full-Nelson while another went running straight at the man. When the mysterious attacker was within his leg's reach, Russia upwardly kicked the fighter and lunged backwards, landing on top of the one holding him, and knocking the wind out of it. He rolled backwards, raised his pipe, and slammed it dead center of the enemy's stomach. Not a second after, he blindly yet accurately elbowed another assailant in the face. The foe was about to stand but Russia grasped a handful of its 'hair' and viciously rammed the cranium into his prepared knee, several times.

Letting go of the limp body, the ash-blond turned his attention to the last able assassin. Russia smiled childishly when he saw the enemy charge right at him. The mysterious attacker spread his arms out horizontally, hoping to add momentum as well as fear into his opponent. Just as he was a couple of feet away from the Russian, the ash-blond unraveled his cherished scarf from his own pale neck and wrapped it tightly around the foe's neck. He tugged and tightened the scarf; getting a natural high from watching his opponent squirm in his arms. Suddenly, a certain Russian thumb jabbed itself expertly into the eye socket of the assailant. The enemy stopped all of its movement. Russia swiftly, and somewhat teasingly, retracted his arm, pulling out a slimy, black eyeball like object. A sliver of ash black skin was still hanging off the opposite end. Russia grabbed the eyeball adhered to his thumb, examined it thoroughly, and, ultimately, squeezed it fiercely in his fist. Trails of the blood like substance oozed out from in-between his fingers.

Russia wiped his oozing hand on the body of the brutally beaten assassin in his embrace, before releasing it. He then turned around to the other nations; an innocent smile sewn onto his thin lips.

**"They shouldn't be a problem now, da?" **He giggled out while putting on his coat. **"Hm?"**

A shiny object shone brightly in Russia's amethyst eyes. He winced but picked up the item nonetheless. It was a pin with a button on it. The button was of the image of a certain flag. A flag that was of an enemy.

**"Yo! Russia! Man, you gotta teach me where you learned all those moves!" **America cheered as the Allies ran to their Russian nation.

**"Russia? Hey, what is that?" **England questioned as he asked for the button. The ash-blond handed it to the other blond.

**"Does the image of this flag... belong to who I think it does?"** England whispered out while holding the button out for his allies to see as well. Their eyes widened in shock, along with confusion.

**"Dude... So not cool!" **America pouted angrily.


	2. Chapter 2

**We Are The Axis Allies! 2**

**(A/N): **Yay dos chapters in one day! I feel accomplished. A small chapter but I liked writing this one as well. So, um, yeah. I wouldn't mind it if you reviewed and such. It'd actually make me want to write more. Anyone have any random filler ideas you'd like to see, I won't mind writing :) Who knew who it was the entire time? ^^ Anyone? Anyone, at all? K, shutting up now.

**"Here, drink this. I know it will not help in retrieving Mr. Austria, but it will help calm your nerves."** A heavily accented Japan held out a steaming cup of tea. Hungary had been sat down on the couch of Germany's living room. Her tears never ceased; she took the cup.

**"Please, Germany, you must help me!"**

Germany, after reluctantly letting Hungary in, stood by the largest window, only hearing her pleading cries. His arms were crossed, eyes were closed, and his breathing steady. The blond wanted no part in this. He could barely stand Austria! Why should he risk his life to save the snooty, annoying pest anyway? A loud slam awoke Germany from his controversial thoughts. Hungary had slammed the teacup on the coffee table.

**"Are you not listening to me?! Austria has been kidnapped!"**

**"Ja, I heard you. But here is the thing. I neither care for Austria nor his safety. If he let himself get kidnapped, that is his problem."**

**"He may be dead by now!"**

**"So then what would be the point in trying to rescue him?!"**

**"But Germany, Austria is our friend!"** Italy finally interjected while raising his hand.

**"Friend?! What happened to all of the stories of the torture he put you through?!"** The blond lashed out. Italy rubbed his arm.

**"But... He has taken good care of me. He really could have hurt me if he wanted to.."** The brunette chimed out gloomily; Germany's left brow twitched.

**"Y-"**

The blond began but was cut short by shouting outside his front window. The voices sounded all too familiar of that of the Allies; had they really ran out of ideas that they had been reduced to just walk right up to the Axis?

**"Hey, Germany! We've got a bone to pick with you! Get your Nazi ass out here!"**

**"Have you never heard of the word 'civilized', America?"**

**"Scheiße.. What did I do to deserve this?"**

The Aryan muttered under his breath as he strode to his window, massaging his temple. To his dismay, he found the Allies on his land. Oh this was going to be a long day.

**"Can I help you?"** The blond inquired rather politely, given the situation he was currently put in.

**"Yeah! Where's your doucher of a-!"** America initiated with a clenched fist but China had placed his hand on his chest, silencing the American.

**"Is your brother around?"** The other thickly accented Asian requested.

**"Mein Bruder? Why do you want to know?"** Suspicion aroused in his voice.

**"It appears he has a rather disturbing sense of humor. Though, not as disturbing as Russia's combat moves."** England spoke, but inaudibly murmured the last sentence.

**"Well, ja. That's just Gilbert. Is this all? I'm.."** He looked back at the group of nations staring back at him, inside his house. **"busy at the moment."**

**"Look just tell us where your doucher of a brother is!"** America snapped while shaking his fist violently in the air.

Germany bit his bottom lip. _'Where _IS_ Gilbert?'_, he thought not too surely. _'Think Ludwig, think. Where did he say he was off to?'_

**"And so I told him **_**'Going to kidnap Austria and take over the world! See you 'round!'**_** and he just said **_**'ok'**_**!"**

A German-accented Prussia laughed and laughed obnoxiously in front of a tightly tied up, (and not too happy), Austria. The froufrou country glared at him, mentally cursing the silverette.

**"So.. How does it feel being a prisoner of the awesome Prussia?"** A sly smirk slithered on Prussia's face. He reclined comfortably in his cushioned seat and crossed his right leg over his left.

"**You didn't even kidnap me, Gilbert."** Austria spat out venomously. **"You had to have someone else do your dirty work for you."**

**"Well he offered and who was I, the mighty and awesome Prussia, to deny him?"** At that moment, the large door inside the even larger building, opened; Prussia's smirk only increased in width. **"Ah, and here is the man who promised me my unlimited power."**


	3. Chapter 3

We Are The Axis Allies! (Hetalia) 3

**"And Russia took them all out on his own?"** A surprised Italy questioned; he was tightly holding on to his pet cat, Pookie. "That's so scary!"

**"It was epic! Like nothing you've ever seen! Glad you're on my side otherwise I'd be toast!"** America chortled as he patted Russia on his back.

**"Toast?"** Russia smiled innocently. **"You would not be toast, you would be dead. But I like you, America. And some day, you'll even become one with me."**

**"As if anyone would want to become one with cold, unforgiving Russia. They'd be better off with me."** The three countries turned to face the elder Asian country. **"No one wants to be freezing all day, everyday, for their whole life. In China, we have beautiful summers with lots of festivals for both children and adults."**

As China spoke, fireworks randomly appeared in the background on a dark, starry night. Russia's smile returned; he even chuckled.

**"You, too, will become one with Mother Russia."**-Whilst those countries talked amongst themselves about Russia's triumphant victory against those disturbing assassins, the others were having a small meeting. An intense meeting.

**"And this was left after Russia defeated those- what did you say they were?"** Germany inquired. The blond was inspecting the button that had the image of the Prussian flag.

**"Er. That's the thing. We don't know what those things were."** England replied sheepishly.

**"They obviously were not human. I mean, they unhinged their jaws! They also have never heard of mouth wash."** France added in. Now Japan held the button.

**"They must have been working for someone else."** The Asian stated surely.

**"Hm?"** The rest of the nations hummed in question.

**"Well, if you think about it, if they were the only ones truly after, whatever it was they were after, would they really give up that easily?"** It may have been a rhetorical question, it may not, but the nations didn't answer. Japan continued. **"They also seemed rather uneducated. All they did was run. No combat skills, no speaking, and no faces."**

**"Black magic!"** England interrupted loudly. His fellow countries looked at him. A blush took over his cheeks.

**"Oh don't go on about your little spells again, Britain!"** France nagged; England sneered.

**"Little spells?! This is years of traditional family black magic! Have some respect!"**

**"If anything, you probably sent those things after us!"** France accused. Germany and Japan looked at England, expecting some sort of reaction.

**"Wh-what?! Are you mad you.. frog?! Wh-why would I even bother?!"** England protested while shaking his hands rapidly.

**"Enough! From both of you!"** Germany intercepted; he pinched the inner corners of his eyes. **"So, Britain, you think mein Bruder had something to do with this?"**

**"Well, all the evidence clearly points to his direction."** England replied as he crossed his arms. **"Austria is missing, whom Prussia has had several 'confrontations' with, Prussia as well is not here, and the button we found."**

**"If I may interject for a moment."** A soft Asian-accented voice spoke up. **"Yes, the evidence does point to Mr. Germany's brother Prussia, but is he really this..."** Japan trailed off.

**"..Smart? Nein."** Germany answered and deadpanned.

The Aryan's older brother really wasn't this educated to know how to properly kidnap a person. And to summon such demonic creatures, even less. Their assumptions had giant craters. But could it be another country helping him? Switzerland held this vengeful attitude towards the elegant nation, but he would never harm Austria. On the contrary, he would try to help rescue Austria.

It just didn't make any sense. Why would anyone want to kidnap Austria anyway?

**xxx**

**"Big brother?"**

**"Hm?"**

**"I was wondering... if we could go to the park today?"**

**"The park? For what?"**

"**I wanted to give breadcrumbs to the baby ducks by the pond."**

**"..."**

**"Big brother?"**

**"We'll go for a little while. I have some paperwork I'd like to finish."**

**"Ah, thank you, big brother!"**

**xxx**

**"Damn it, Germany! Let me out!"** Hungary, who is currently entrapped inside a dark closet, pounded on the door. **"If you won't look for Austria, at least let me out so I can do it! Germany!"**

**xxx**

Germany sighed and bit his bottom lip. **"Alright, let's have a quick meeting. The only way to settle this is if we gather information from everyone."**

The others agreed. France went to the other room to retrieve the rest of the nations, but found them conversing with a strange female. The French blond had never seen this woman before, but she didn't seem at all threatening. He called to his fellow nations.

**"There is a woman talking to the others. She looks worried."** Two sentences out and France was gone. Miss the opportunity to meet a female? Not France.

**"An unknown woman?"** Japan questioned; he turned to Germany.

**"I have a bad feeling about this."** Was the German's only reply before they walked out of the room to the giant lobby.

When the last of the countries arrived, they found the girl to be somewhat homely. It wasn't that she was hideous, but it seemed as though she didn't bother to fix herself up. She was thin, tall, and had dull, gray-blonde hair. However, when the nations entered the room, a sense of relief entered their bodies. The strange woman spoke.

**"Now that you are all here, I have a favor to ask of you."** She stated quickly.

**"Hold on just a minute. Who are you to ask us for a favor? We don't even know you."** Germany spat out incredulously.

**"There really is not much time for introductions, but you are correct."** The woman spoke politely. **"My name is Syrceri, and I am currently deceased."** A blanket of disturbed expressions covered the countries' faces. **"And to put this simple enough, my brother is one of the most powerful practitioners of dark magic and he wants to take over the world."**

**...**

**"HA!"** England exclaimed proudly in France's face


	4. Chapter 4

**We Are The Axis Allies! (Hetalia) 4**

**(A/N): Forgot to mention this in the third chapter but thank you to 777angeloflove for my first review! Yes, this is how I work. You **_**review**_**, I **_**write**_** :] Once again, me no own; you no sue.**

A large, white, fluffy cloud flew through the sky. It passed in front of the sun, blocking its rays. On the tall grass, laid a certain Greek, snoozing his troubles away. A few stray cats had nestled around him, making a mock blanket for the country. It was a normally pleasant day for Greece.

It would have been better, had Japan visited like he had promised.

**xxx**

**"So let me get this straight. You want us to believe that, one, you're dead, two, your brother is also dead, three, your brother is a dark magician, and four, he wants to take over the world?"** America inquired with an non-amused expression.

**"Yes."** Syrceri, the foreign female replied politely.

**"That's so totally cool, dude!"** The American exclaimed with excitement.

**"America, you twit! Listen madam, if you've escaped from the loony bin, I suggest you return right away!"**

**"I most certainly have not ever in my life been enrolled in a 'loony bin'!"** The woman stated. **"You must believe me! You are the ones who are said that can help!"**

**"Us? Why us?"** Japan spoke up.

**"Are you not missing an acquaintance?"** The countries remained silent. **"And the one who is an accomplice, he is a relative to one of you."** Now all the countries, excluding Germany, stared at the Aryan. **"However, he is not the one behind any of this."**

**"Hm?"** All of the countries hummed in confusion.

**"He is just a pawn. Well, a host is more like it."**

**"A host?"** China questioned.

**"Like parasite, da?"** Russia added in.

**"Just like a parasite. My brother, Netheo, he is using your relative,"** She aimed this at Germany. **"As a host body. Netheo cannot live without using someone else's body as a means of housing."**

**"And what'll happen after your brother is finished with my brother?"** Germany croaked out. Syrceri softened her eyes and frowned.

**"I think you all know why a parasite would move on ."** A simple, direct answer. Germany clenched his fists and exhaled deeply. Out of nowhere, Syrceri gasped.

**"I have to go!"** She stated rapidly.

**"W-wait!"** America called out. **"How do we save Austria?"**

**"You are going to have to all work together. It's the only way. I can help, but only so much. I really must go now!"** And with that, she jumped into the air disappeared like dust caught in the wind.

The countries were left silent. _"work together"_? They hadn't heard of this phrase since the Allies formed; vice versa with the Axis. Even if they wanted to work together, which was clearly not going to happen due to their less than enthusiastic expressions, there were differences among them. Giant differences. Hostility, anger, revenge, hatred. This was not going to work out.

**"Well good luck!"** America spoke to the Axis Powers; they turned to face him. **"Well we're not going. Besides, isn't Austria your responsibility, Germany?"**

**"He is nothing of mine. Und I have better things to do than to spend it searching for some pompous pussy."**

**"We aren't going?"** Both France and England inquired worriedly.

**"Why should we?"** China replied for America. **"Unless he becomes new Chinese territory, I see no point in risking life or limb."**

**"Ve~! Germany!"** Italy's high pitched voice came about. He was inside the building but now he came running towards the group of countries. **"I'm all ready, Germany!"**

The Italian came out sporting his war clothes and a helmet. As well as a white flag hidden somewhere on himself. Italy's legs magnetized together and he saluted his fellow Axis members. Japan blinked but smiled nonetheless. Italy truly wanted to rescue Austria. The younger Asian looked up towards Germany for his reaction; all the countries did.

The tallest blond had a look of disbelief. No matter how hard _HE_ had tried, Italy never put on his uniform and was ever so willing to go into battle, as quickly as he had just done. And although he was most impressed by his friend's excitement, the thought of having to comply with the Allied Nations, was simply upsetting. And impossible. So it was settled.

**"Ja, alright. Italy, Japan, let's get ready."** Germany said annoyed. **"We'd only be slowed down by the Allies anyway."**

**"Huh?! What was that ya, Nazi?!**" America bellowed out, offended. England tried to calm him down.

**"Just let it go, you twit! He already said he'd go!"**

**"Never! I'll bet half of America that we, the Allies, can find and save Austria before you lame-wad Axis can! Then I'll be known as the ultimate hero!"** The blond paraded as an American flag waved majestically behind him. His bet, however, did capture some attention.

**"Half of America, you say?"** The Aryan inquired with an intrigued expression.

**"The better half, in fact!"**

**"And if we should lose?"**

**"I get seventy-five percent of your military weapons! And that includes vehicles!"**

**"Seventy-five percent... for half of America."** Germany pondered for a moment.

**"Mr. Germany, you cannot possibly be considering this."** Japan attempted to talk his friend out of this ridiculous deal. But it was fruitless.

**"Deal."** Germany stated seriously as he held out his hand in front of America. The American smirked.

**"Deal!"** His hand locked with the German's and they shook once and only once.

The deal was made and there was not another reason for them to stay. Therefore, the Allied Nations dispersed in the one direction; the Axis in the other. Italy remained still for the moment. He would glance at the Allies, turn to face the Axis, and so on, so forth. It was a saddening scene for him to see.

Why couldn't they work together like that strange lady said they should? They are all after the same goal, aren't they? What was the problem?


	5. And So The Adventure Begins

**We Are The Axis Allies! (Hetalia) 5**

**(A/N: Every time I try to update on this site, I get mixed up and always make a mistake somewhere down the road :3 Anyway! Yatta~! An update~! I feel so proud that I managed to update before I went on Winter Vacation (this Friday by the way). Reviews would be absolutely lovely, my dears~! :D Ah! Quick thank you's to 777angeloflove and AquaBubbleCakes~! Lovely reviewers who, well, reviewed! Your kind words inspire this mediocre author to keep writing! :) )**

**Me no own; you no sue~!**

**"What the bloody hell, America?!"** England had ceased reprimanding his younger brother the entire trip back. They had to properly, and hastily, pack for the undesired adventure that awaited them. **"What were you thinking, giving up half your land like that?!"**

**"I was thinking, **_**'Ultimate Bad Ass Hero!'**_**. What were **_**YOU**_** thinking, Iggy?"** America answered with a childish smile.

**"I was thinking you were an imbecile! A stupid, fashion-less imbecile!"** France muttered with a pout.

**"If anyone should be getting that land, it's me!"** China shouted.

"**Stay out of this, China!"** Both England and France retorted then went back to chewing out America. China stopped and crossed his arms.

**"Western countries are such assholes."**

Suddenly, someone bumped into him. China grunted in surprise by the sudden physical contact. There was only one person who it could be, and yet, the Asian hoped it was someone, anyone, else. His head slowly tilted backwards and he found Russia staring down at him. The ash-blond smiled.

**"We are falling behind."**

A shiver ran down the brunette's spine and he instantly initiated walking again. Quickening his pace after every step to the point where he was practically running. China took a small glance back, and sure enough, Russia had incredibly caught up to him.

_'Ai-ya!'_ China thought frightened.

**X**

**XXX**

**X**

There was a knock on the door. No answer. The person knocked again; the knocking lasted longer this time. Still no answer. Ultimately, the person decided to go on ahead and entered the room. There was not one body inside the Allies' conference room. The person sighed, exited the room, and closed the large, brown door.

**"Dang it. They always do this to me!"**

**"Who are you?"**

**"I'm.. Canada..."**

**XXX**

**"Mr. Germany, if I may speak?"** Japan piped out with worriment.

**"Go ahead."** The blond replied. His vision was glued to a map.

**"Er, do you have any idea as to where your brother may be with Mr. Austria?"**

**"Not a clue. But our best bet, is away from the obvious of places. If Gilbert is working with someone else, it is likely that he **_**isn't**_** the brains of the operation."** The German answered, not removing his eyes from the laminated map.

**"Why don't we ask that nice lady where he is?"** Italy chirped out. He was the one trailing after the group. Germany and Japan stopped to think about the brunette's idea.

**"If we see her, it would be our best option. Do you not think?"** The raven-haired Asian questioned the blond. Germany's thumb and index finger pinched his chin.

**"The problem would be, what if we never see her again? Besides, I can get us there using this map."** and so they continued on their path.

_'But where is _THERE_?'_ Japan thought warily.

**"After all,"** Germany's voice interrupted Japan's thoughts. **"What could possibly get in our way, that we can't take care of? Right?"**

**X**

**XXX**

**X**

**"France, you idiot, look out!"**

England shouted at the blond, wavy-haired nation. France looked behind and shrieked a girlish shriek. His legs were clearly not cooperating with his mind, otherwise he would have ran faster and not so wobbly.

Believe it or not, a dinosaur was hot on France's tail. The dinosaur was a carnotaur. It had two spikes sticking out from both sides of its head and several other spikes ejecting from its back, trailing down to its tail. It was as deadly as it was terrifying, and it yearned for nourishment.

England, though having a sort of love/hate relationship with the flamboyant nation, was worried for his safety. **"France, you frog! Get out of the way!"**

**"What do you think I am trying to do?!"** The Frenchman retorted, all while trying to quicken his running.

**"Wait! Isn't this a T-Rex?! Just don't move Francy Pants and he won't attack ya!"** America shouted confidently. It was enough for France to stop in his tracks and keep absolutely still. It made no difference however, the beast was still heading for the blonde.

**"What the hell America?!"** France exclaimed as he sprinted off once again.

**"Run! Just run, dude!"** The four-eyed blonde shouted back.

As France started to run, he didn't check his footing and accidentally stepped awkwardly on a tree root. The flirtatious man fell to the ground, crying in pain and holding his foot. England noticed and, without thinking, ran towards his fallen companion.

The carnotaur was only a few feet away from devouring France, he was as good as dead. The long haired blond tightened his muscles from fear but never actually felt the dinosaur. He opened them to reveal America tugging back on the annoyed carnotaur's tail. While the dino had its head turned glaring at what was holding onto his limb, England had arrived and scooped France into his arms, and fled from the scene. The carnotaur was enraged at the fact the his easy meal was literally stolen right from under his snout. Now he turned his attention to America, who gulped and let go of the scaly tail. A roar bellowed out from the hungry and desperate dinosaur and it ran full speed at America. The usually pumped up and ready for action America had disappeared in an instant and all that was left was the little 'Merica who used to constantly wet the bed. Now it was his turn to run frantically.

England had set down France, who was still moaning over his foot, and looked back to see his younger brother shouting his nickname.

**"Iggy! Iggy!"** America cried out.

Illnesses never made America fret, muscular and intimidating men had never bothered the fearless nation, he would laugh at the sight of man-made weapons. But a dinosaur was something he had never experienced. No one had. And if he had to swallow his pride to have his big brother rescue him then, god damn it, he would!

**"Bloody fucking hell, you twit!"** The Englishman cursed before jumping into action. America had made it to England, and more than happily hid behind him. One quick whiff and England deadpanned, **"Did you honestly wet yourself?"**

America snarled, **"Is that really important right now?!"** The carnotaur roared once more; he was getting closer. **"**_**IGGY**_**!"**

England's eyes shifted rapidly, trying to find a different route. **"Listen America, I'm going to do something absolutely stupid."** The carnotaur was less than twenty feet away. **"When I say **_**'go'**_**, you are going to run as fast as you can with France. Understood?"**

America furrowed his brows. **"But what about y-?"**

**"Don't worry about me! Just run like hell!"**

**"I won't leave you Iggy!"**

**"Damn it, Alfred! Just **_**GO**_**!"** England exclaimed while he pushed America in the direction where a wounded France was. England almost never uses his name, and America knew he was serious. He took off without another whine. **"Alright then, you bloody chicken. Let's dance."**

The roaring dinosaur lunged at England, who jumped out of the way with seconds to spare. After regaining his composure, the bushy-browed nation ran into a path covered in trees. The carnotaur quickly stood back up and ran after his meal.

**X**

**XXX**

**X**

**"Germany! I'm tired!"** A lagging Italy whined with his arms hanging low with a party-pooper face.

**"What happened to all that enthusiasm you had earlier?"** The German asked with his eyes still glued to his trustworthy map. The Axis Nations had barely made any progress from where they started. It seemed that the map Germany picked up was actually his personal use map with all the best bars, gentlemen clubs, and adult toy stores marked down. He had been blindly, (and embarrassedly), leading his friends around the forest for well over three hours.

**"It was gone when that mosquito bit me! And then he brought his friends and they bit me too! Look!"** Italy lifted up his blue sleeve to reveal several red, irritated bug bites all over his forearm.

Japan grabbed Italy's rash infested arm and studied it. His thumb and index finger gripping his chin. **"Perhaps you should-"**

Before the Asian could even start the next word, a wildly running England bursted out from the greenery. Germany quickly became defensive as he stood in front of Italy and Japan.

**"What do you want?"** He demanded. However, England ran right past him.

**"RUN! **_**FOR BLOODY SAKES, RUN**_**!"**

Soon after, the trees and bushes exploded once having felt the impact of the carnotaur rushing after England. The Axis Nations were stunned. Is that a dinosaur?! And more importantly, is it after them?! Italy immediately shrilled like a schoolgirl and ran in the same path as England. Germany, too, ran as fast as his leg muscles would allow, while Japan, deciding to be the "warrior" Japan is most known for, did several quick back flips until he was out of harms way.

_'A dinosaur? In this day and age? No. I-it cannot be true!'_ Japan thought in utter disbelief, his brown orbs locked onto the prehistoric reptilian.

Germany's left eye twitched. **"You have got to be kidding me."**

**(A/N: Ah~! Another chapter completed! I hope you guys sort of enjoyed it. I was inspired to write this after watching one of my favorite movies from my childhood. That movie, if you didn't get from the species of dinosaur attacking the allies, was Disney's **_**Dinosaur**_**. Though it seemed more action-packed in my mind :I Oh well~! Oh, before I log off, I have a request for you , the readers! No, put your wallets away (; I ask that you give me suggestions on, aheh, anything! Since this fan-fiction is supposed to be humorous, I would like to incorporate your guys' random, crack-filled ideas! XD Also, what characters would you like me to include? I'd prefer characters from the anime but I'll accept certain ones if you describe their personalities well enough :) You can expect **_**five**_** certain characters in the next chapter~! *wink, wink; nudge, nudge***

**Thanks for reading~! :D**


	6. Broken Glasses, But Not A Broken Spirit

**We Are The Axis Allies! (Hetalia) 6**

**(A/N: Scheiße! I guess the only way I was ever going to update was by getting sick ^^; Yeah, so I have chicken pox, and this is the only thing [besides tv and video games] I'm allowed to do. My mom is afraid I'm going to infect everyone in my family. Anyway! About today's chapter, as promised, we bring in five very special characters. Also, we identify the man with whom Prussia is working with, Netheo. I like this chapter, don't why though.**

**After so many failed attempts at Sweden speak, I gave up on it. We can use our imaginations, ja? ^^; Also, I want to [and kind of did] included little words of some of the characters' languages. If I mess up on your countries language, I sincerely apologize! D: I'm only fluent in Spanish and English, a little Japanese but not much! My sincerest apologies~!)**

**Once again, me no own; you no sue, ja? ;D**

* * *

Denmark's house was nothing less than extraordinary. Weapons and beautiful showpieces alike, it was hard not to be captivated.

The Nordics had gone out to eat, and most likely drink, to celebrate another victory. Their victory? Finalizing on which couch Denmark should obtain. And though the house was not currently housing someone, a very _persuasive_ person had decided to let himself in and made himself comfortable.

* * *

A group of merry voices were heard just a few feet outside the main door. It was apparent that the Nordics had returned. The Dane was currently the one speaking in his, unbeknownst to him, annoying tone. His keys jingled as he clumsily attempted to insert one of them in the keyhole.

**"So then, as I was falling out the bar, I-"** The Dane stopped upon noticing the uninvited guest in his house. In his hand, there was a glass cup, full of Denmark's Carlsberg. **"Oi! Who do you think you are?!"** The other Nordics entered the house once they saw their brother get defensive. The intruder chuckled evilly as he set his chilled beer on the counter next to his seat.

**"Don't be so quick to judge. I have a proposition for you."**

The Dane calmed down slowly; he knew who this was. **"Preussen[1]. What do you think you're doing in my home?"**

Prussia stood from the soft chair he was sitting in and walked towards the Nordics. **"Like I said. I have a proposition for all of you."**

**"We're not interested."** A stern and cautious Sweden decided for all of them.

Prussia softly chuckled and crossed his arms. **"I never said it was negotiable."** He placed his hand on the wooden table in front of the main doorway; he ran his finger over the top. **"It'd be best if you'd accept. We wouldn't want any trouble, would we?"**

**"You can't just come into other countries' home and expect they obey you. A fool, you are looking."** Iceland chirped from behind all his other brothers. The Prussian chuckled, his hands locked onto his hips.

**"Foolishness would be to deny my generous offer."**

Prussia snapped his fingers and assassins, similar to those that attacked the Allies, appeared from behind each of the Nordics. They were forced to their knees. Prussia walked to Sweden; he stole his glasses. The Swede blinked multiple times as his vision slowly became blurry. The silverette held the glasses in front of the Nordics.

**"Let's pretend this is you Nordics."** He snapped the glasses in half. The Nordic brothers watched as he dropped the spectacles to the floor and crushed the glass under his war boot. **"Now, I don't want to be that guy, but I will. Either follow under my command, or be the glasses I can easily replace. Your choice."**

Denmark turned to Sweden; the Swede was staring at the floor where a blurred piled of glass laid. As much as it pained the Dane, he would rather have glasses be the only thing crushed under Prussia's rule.

Denmark glanced up at the Prussian, **"What are we agreeing to, exactly?"** he questioned.

Prussia smirked as he walked back to pick up his beer. **"I have a bit of a pest problem."** A sickening smirk slipped onto his lips as he chugged the rest of the smooth Carlsberg.

* * *

**"You know! The whole point of Britain moving me away from the dinosaur, was so that I could live! Why are you taking me back?!**" A tossing and turning France screeched while in the arms of America. The American had decided to follow his older brother; how was he supposed to be the hero if he was cowering away with France? _France!_

**"Well you have to watch me win against that scaly freak!"** He replied back with a confident smile.

France inhaled deeply. **"Did you piss yourself?"**

**"Not important!"**

* * *

**"Turbatio maximus![2]"** England chanted directly at the carnotaur. He had hoped his knowledge of magic could go up against a prehistoric creature... It couldn't. The English nation attempted to confuse the reptile but to no avail. He stood, thinking of another spell to attack with, when Germany dropped to the scene, clearly not impressed.

**"Singing some Latin words won't do anything! You need to attack this thing with force!"** Germany commented while rolling up his sleeves to his elbows.

**"Are you bonkers?! Even that woman said we're dealing with black magic here! Your fists will get us nowhere!"** England retorted back with a snarl.

The German huffed. **"Watch me!"**

Germany advanced to the should-be prehistoric creature. Though he really had no idea on how to approach the situation he and his fellow countries had been put in. The carnotaur saw another scrawny insect running at it, and it, too, charged. While running, Germany inspected the dinosaur. It wasn't very tall, eleven feet perhaps? Arms were smaller in size compared to its body, and it had very many blind-spots. Another quality Germany found, was the dinosaur's jaw. It was odd compared to those in history books. More curved and thin.

_'Could I risk it?'_ The German thought unsure of himself. It would have to be a risk he'd have to make quickly. The dinosaur was approaching hastily.

**"Right!"** Germany shouted heroically. The carnotaur roared in synch with the German's battle cry.

Right as the creature was right on top of Germany, the Aryan threw himself down and slid underneath the prehistoric reptile. The dinosaur went down as it tried to gulp the blond. Germany used this time to his advantage. He knew that carnotaur would get right back up and follow him.

And that's just what he wanted.

* * *

**"Help~! Help Germany~!"** Italy frantically screamed as he watched his best friend run for his life.

Japan followed what the German did; he studied it. **"Now I see what Germany was after."** He said briefly before jumping into action.

**"Japan~! No!"** Italy shrieked in fear.

On opposite sides of the worrying Italian, were the Allies. America had finally caught up to England and sat France down. The poor Frenchman was still writhing in pain from his rolled ankle; why did he decide to follow America and England in the first place? The remaining two of the Allies watched in curiosity as two of the Axis attempted to take down the animal.

**"What are these losers up to, Iggy?"** America asked while fixing his glasses.

England stared at the swiftly moving Japanese man. **"I think they're trying to get it to trip over itself? I'm not entirely- Why the hell did you bring France back?!"**

* * *

**"Mr. Germany!"** Japan called out from behind the dinosaur. Germany looked back and found his companion.

**"Japan! What are you doing?! You're going to get yourself killed!"**

**"Years of salted salmon have not withered this old man. I think I can handle a dinosaur."** The Asian replied with a confident smile; Germany returned the action. **"Now what can I do to help?"**

Before the German could reply, he, too, lost his footing. The damage was nothing serious but it gave an opportunity to their foe. While Germany was on the floor the reptilian scooped the man into its mouth, dirt and all. Japan stopped his running and watched in shock.

* * *

The few Allies present gaped at the sight. It devoured Germany like it was nothing. They almost felt... bad.. to see such a familiar face be lost forever.

Not even England felt the urge to gloat.

* * *

From beyond, Italy cried out in hysterics as he ran down to ground level. Japan stood in disbelief; it had happened so fast, _too_ fast. However, he noticed something strange with the carnotaur. It didn't swallow Germany. In fact, the dinosaur was having trouble trying to shut its mouth.

_'Germany..'_ The Asian man thought. **"He's still alive!"** Japan ran to aid his not-so-fallen partner.

* * *

At the sight of this, America leapt into action. Against the protests of England.

**"A-America! Where do you think you're going?!"**

The American laughed triumphantly. **"Time for the **_**real**_** hero to shine!"** America laughed before stopping right next to Japan. **"Yo, Japan! Here to help ya out!"**

Japan responded with a nod. **"His jaw. That is our focus point."**

**"Oh, so you want me to punch him?!"** The blond rolled up his sleeve.

**"I do not think even you can punch hard enough to take it down. Germany was going for a different approach."** Japan stated while pointing at a giant boulder.

**"Hm? **_**That**_**? But it's-"**

**"Will you two hurry up?!"** Germany cried out from within the dinosaur's mouth. He had managed to pry the jaw open but he could not escape quite yet. The enraged Aryan was covered in dinosaur drool.

**"Alright then, we'll do this your way! Hey dino-breath!"** America called out obnoxiously while waving his hands to gather the attention of the creature.

The carnotaur remembered this one. He was the first to get away, but he'd make sure he'd be the last for him to savor. The dinosaur stomped his left foot on the ground once, the same with the right, and charged.

America, who had been running towards the boulder, reached the end of the path and waited for the fiend. His heart raced; he still really couldn't believe the situation he was in. Beads of sweat formed on the sides of his forehead, sliding down his red cheeks. All those cheeseburgers were not playing to his favor.

Finally, the carnotaur was just a few steps away. This time, America wasn't going to jump out of the way in the knick of time. Instead he stayed his ground until the prehistoric reptilian opened its mouth. America shut his eyes as he jumped forward into the cavern of the dinosaur at the last minute, causing the creature to run into the boulder Japan had pointed to, and jammed it in between his jaw.

**"ALFRED!"** England cried out in shock.

Even Japan was stunned by his acquaintance's action. The plan did go according to their desires, but America was supposed to jump out of the way. Why had he chosen to enter the dinosaur?

By now, England had ran over to the Asian, who stood silently next to the creature.

England turned to Japan. **"Well?! What do we do?!"** The dino, after staying still from the surprise, started to struggle. It dug the claws on it's feet in the dirt, attempting to get unstuck; its roars muffled.

Then, it stopped. Japan and England turned to each other, then back to the carnotaur. Suddenly, a long blade shot out from the creature's neck and sliced down to create a giant gash. Out stepped America and Germany, covered in wine colored dinosaur blood.

Japan checked his sheath; his katana was missing. He looked back to America; though he had been blindly robbed by the American, a small smile appeared on his face.

* * *

Several footsteps echoed within the hallways. The Nordic Nations were being herded towards a large lounge filled with red and gold furniture, gold picture frames, and silver weapons hanging on each of the walls. Finland sorrowfully looked out the occasional window in the giant fortress. The sky was a dark hue of red, any and all of the greenery outdoors was now a charred black, and all sense of hope had long been deserted. He didn't want to be here, none of them did, but it was not like they had a choice. The Finn sighed a long sigh; he had stopped walking to continue his gaze. He was shoved forward by one of the henchmen following Prussia.

**"Stop stopping Tino."** Sweden commanded in a voice much more quiet than his usual hushed tone.

Finland licked his dry lips. **"I can't help it. It's so scary outside. I want to go home."**

**"Go home? You do not like my residence?"** A voice, not very different than that of Prussia's, called out. A young looking man with platinum blond hair (styled slightly similarly like Norway and Iceland's), and old fashioned European clothing came walking down the stairs.

Norway stared at the man; he observed his facial features. There was something off-putting about him but the Norwegian could not distinguish what.

The man spotted out the one who had made the comment to leave and casually strode over. The man was taller than Finland but shorter than Denmark; he stared down at the Finn, he shivered in fear. The stranger forcibly grabbed the Finn boy by his soft, round cheeks and pulled him close.

**"I am afraid **_**this**_** is your home now. If you are not content,"** The blond man ran his free hand caressingly through a shaking Finland's hair. **"I can always find you something else.. six feet under."** He discarded the boy to the floor; he turned to his host body. **"Find them rooms on the fourth floor. Two per room, except for the one leftover. Their first mission is tomorrow, I will be visiting them in their rooms to enhance them as I did to you. Prepare them."** The intimidating man commanded Prussia, who nodded once. The man walked right back up the stairs. Prussia waited until his commander was out of hearing range before speaking.

**"So I imagine Sweden and Finland are definitely sharing a room?"** The silverette bore a smirk. The Finn looked up at Sweden, who was helping him up, to see his response; the Swede only glared at Prussia.

**"What? Didn't think I knew which team you were playing on, Sve?" **He turned to the remaining three Nordics.** "So, who's the last pairing?"**

Denmark looked over in the direction of the two biological brothers. He smiled happily while striding to their presence. Norway looked displeased but that could have just been his normal facial expression.

**"I am not sharing a bedroom with you, Dane."**

**"Eh? That's cool, I was actually hoping to bunk with Icy anyway."**

Norway was taken aback. Denmark _didn't_ want to share a bed with _him_? He wanted _Iceland_? The Norwegian narrowed his eyes as he pulled on Iceland's sleeve, the youngest boy was tugged behind his elder brother.

**"Iceland is staying with me." **The Norwegian stated defensively.

**"Huh?"** Denmark was actually stunned at how angry Norway had gotten. **"Well, why don't we let little Icy choose for himself?"** He questioned with a competitive smirk.

The two countries turned to Iceland, whose cheeks had inevitably flushed a light pink.

**"Well, bror[3]?" **Norway inquired with crossed arms and an unamused expression. Whereas Denmark had a smile spread out from ear to ear.

* * *

Norway, after taking off his hat, barrette, belt, and outer sailor top, leaving him with only a white undershirt, fluffed one of his many pillows and laid quietly and bitterly in the giant bed, meant for two, _alone_.

* * *

**[1] Pruessen - I think this is how one would pronounce 'Prussia' in Danish? That's what Google told me~!**

**[2]Turbatio maximus - This is just a made up spell with the words turbatio-confusion, maximus-greatest/largest. So, "greatest confusion!".**

**[3]Bror - Norwegian for brother? Let's hope so! :D**

**(A/N: Ah! I love sibling rivalry between the Nordics~! XD So, what do you guys think of the overall story? I know it's kind of 'WTF' at the moment but I really appreciate and love those who have added this story to their Favorites and Follows! Thank you guys so much! It may not be a review but anything that shows that someone is interested in this story is enough for this author~! ^^)**


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